A Cabin in the Woods

"The Cabin in The Woods"

It's been some time since a new edition of the Beaver Examiner was printed out and we apologize to the 42 people in town literate enough to peruse it. We are also making sure to send copies to the local outhouses for the rest of you concerned about the ever-thinning Sear's catalogs now somewhere between watering troves and undergarments. The Tornado that flattened the Printing building and took the press with it obviously felt a letter to the editor was not a strong enough message for recent disparaging articles concerning the crappy weather in eastern Wyoming.    

Now back to our continuing coverage of Sir-Real Estate's local home review. 

One might consider this rustic amalgamation of sticks a thin barrier to mother nature's wrath but here in the Rockies, her anger is as furious as a hornet's nest homestead in a tumble weed. 

     

"There ain't no welcome mat for a reason!" says owner Kim Trails. "I never liked any of you in town and the vampires are at least accustomed to formality." 

People in Wyoming see windows as a blessing and a curse. They allow you to survey the plot you settled, and they remind you you're in Wyoming.   

A rain barrel, the only type of Barrel in these parts it's safe to look down the end of.  

You got an axe to grind? Beaverlick, WY. is the town for you!

This spacious dwelling is cozy enough for a wedded couple and their 6 surviving children by pioneer standards. (Based on the census of 1860) 

A Franklin Central heating system (1887)

The Kitchenette is perfect for cooking up some "True Grits" and flavored with whatever you shot this morning. 

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness, around here it's also next to impossible." 

Unnamed Sod Buster (1872) 

 

A Visit to Ojo Marron

( Editor's note: after many years of distraction in other games I'm returning to the game I started grand-detail construction many years ago. The Idea is to develop the "West Gone Wild" (Beavelick) into a large convention participation game like our Pirate blog "Fist Full of Seamen")  

The town of Ojo Marron

In the dusty Back-no-Water of New Mexico sits the town of Ojo Marron. known for it's long dry season extending for 11 months and 29 days of the year, Its enigmatic founding can't be traced to any recorded origin know to the territory of New Mexico but may be hinted at by the fact that the farmers still use a Aztec calendar to track the harvest seasons. Primarily Spanish speaking the local population are substance farmers of local crops such as maze, peppers, and squash.  

La Tercera Tetilla 

Among the sand smoothed buildings in town stands the premier Tapas and cactus wine cafe. Cactus wine a concoction of distilled prickly pear labeled 205proof, the owner Rodrigo Ciego claims uses the metric system to exceed the 100% alcohol level.

From the scenic veranda you can see almost 7 of the 9 remaining buildings in town.

Visiting Celebrity Robert Conrad

Regulars Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp

The Store room on the ground level contains the makings of the potent cactus wine sold on the veranda: Firminting Prickly pear, sugar and a whole lot of hemp.

 

     

Taking Care of Business

Taking Care of Business

The infamous Aaron Viva wanders into Outhouse 23 also know as Jackson's Hole, a enigmatic facility that never seems to be short on periodicals to wipe yourself with.   

Re-Booting Beaverlick.....

Something stirs from the Mourning Wood cemetery,  Is it Dusty Lome the grave digger? Is it that axe murdering circus clown that was trialed, convicted and executed twice do to a clerical error? Is it a pack of peyote-hopped-up-Indians just causing a ruckus again? Get your boots on, load that six gun and order a double shot of sarsaparilla. It's last call for the Moseying Dead.

Armadillos take double damage in the road, a house rule well support by scientific observation.

The Halloween edition of the Beaver Examiner.

Sean Connery's Guest appearance 

Sir! there is a strict "NO undead" policy in this hotel lobby, you will have to use the minority entrance in the rear.

The Old "69" is Coming!

The Old "69" lovingly known as "The Lickity Split" by her fireman, boasted the largest "Rack" In The Wyoming Northern Railroad. Formally a climax piston engine running between Blue Ball and Intercourse, Pennsylvania, she was sold to the W.Y.N.O. railroad company because she arrived many times ahead of the strict Keystone state schedule. "Residents in these parts don't mind if the Ole' Lickity Split comes too early, as long as she does and with some consistency." admits her conductor

ProtoType Rail mobile Naval Gun

In preparation for the Martian invasion of 1882 Mayor Caveat Huckster requisitioned an experimental rail mobile artillery piece originally designed for coastal defense of the Chesapeake Bay. Despite the Martian invasion taking place nearly 6000 miles east in Leeds, England over a decade later the Mayor claims vigilance and a little posturing influenced the blood sucking cephlopods to seek more submissive targets else where.

Car accommodations.

First and Second Class Car accommodations.

No Class accommodations.

Beaverlick Penal Facility

The official name of the local jail, the Beaverlick Penal Facility is a state of the art detention house designed by the late Lenny Cochran. Locals often confuse this long winded official title in colloquial circles with the Bed Side Manor, also known for Penal retention. Known by most around town as "The hole, one can refer to in polite conversation", serves the city Marshall as a holding area for local deviants awaiting trial, a cooling area for drunken rowdies and a temporary smoke house during dear season.

Extra! Extra! Black Bart Rides Again?