"Beaverlick takes law quite seriously, as do I, but there are some places I just don't have Jurisdiction," shrugged Marshall Tucker in response to the growing list of scathing letters to the editor written to The Beaver Examiner over the past few months. "Look, I don't mind cleaning up litter, rousting drunks, defusing a fight between an opium tweaked circus midget and a squeaky water pump or anything thing else that crops up in our cozy city limits. My vigilance stops two feet past that bullet-riddled welcome sign at the edge of town. Just last week I chased a extra-terrestrial ecotoplasmic cephalopod through the Yeast of Eden bakery after the sour dough vat imploded. When that thing phased into a pocket dimension I broke pursuit. Yeah, I guess I could have raised a posse, but extradition from outer planeular courts has been negligible since the Monroe Doctrine; and locally I'm not sure I could find a credable jury of it's peers. The American justice system has its limitations out here in the territory and it's 450 yards in that direction."
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