Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Old "69" is Coming!
In preparation for the Martian invasion of 1882 Mayor Caveat Huckster requisitioned an experimental rail mobile artillery piece originally designed for coastal defense of the Chesapeake Bay. Despite the Martian invasion taking place nearly 6000 miles east in Leeds, England over a decade later the Mayor claims vigilance and a little posturing influenced the blood sucking cephlopods to seek more submissive targets else where.


Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Beaverlick Penal Facility
The official name of the local jail, the Beaverlick Penal Facility is a state of the art detention house designed by the late Lenny Cochran. Locals often confuse this long winded official title in colloquial circles with the Bed Side Manor, also known for Penal retention. Known by most around town as "The hole, one can refer to in polite conversation", serves the city Marshall as a holding area for local deviants awaiting trial, a cooling area for drunken rowdies and a temporary smoke house during dear season.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Civil Disorder will not be suffered

"Beaverlick takes law quite seriously, as do I, but there are some places I just don't have Jurisdiction," shrugged Marshall Tucker in response to the growing list of scathing letters to the editor written to The Beaver Examiner over the past few months. "Look, I don't mind cleaning up litter, rousting drunks, defusing a fight between an opium tweaked circus midget and a squeaky water pump or anything thing else that crops up in our cozy city limits. My vigilance stops two feet past that bullet-riddled welcome sign at the edge of town. Just last week I chased a extra-terrestrial ecotoplasmic cephalopod through the Yeast of Eden bakery after the sour dough vat imploded. When that thing phased into a pocket dimension I broke pursuit. Yeah, I guess I could have raised a posse, but extradition from outer planeular courts has been negligible since the Monroe Doctrine; and locally I'm not sure I could find a credable jury of it's peers. The American justice system has its limitations out here in the territory and it's 450 yards in that direction."
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
The Beaver Examiner is the exclusive chronicle of Beaverlick, Wyoming. Printed weekly, the brain child of publisher/editor, and co-owner of the Box Lunch Cafe, Maple White has managed to turn quite a profit in this frontier town, despite an estimated literacy rate of nearly 22 percent. When asked of his successful marketing, he just rubbed his ink stained fingers across freshly dried printings and said, "You wont find a softer paper anywhere in Wyoming." White also sponsors an all you can eat coffee and grits luncheon at the cafe with the purchase of every paper . "In the end The Beaver Examiner is there to wipe away the true grit of the West and get right to the fiber of our Society."
boasted White.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Holland Oats Feed and Seed
Founding Derelict
Rome may have been built by orphans, as Australia was by criminals and brigands, heck, even our own founding fathers were blasphemous Anglican Church out casts. So why should it come to any one's surprise that a derelict was responsible for Beaverlick's current location? A Derelict wagon that is. It remains unclear as to whom it may have originally belonged to when first discovered by now acting Mayor Caveat Huckster on his original trek to California. He obviously wasn't the first to make a vagrants shelter of it, prairie flotsam had been scattered all the way to the creek bed by its former tenants. After sifting through the disordered abandonment, Caveat was said to have discovered copper ore in the run off of a near by beaver's dam. (Editors Note)The Mayors office has strictly denied this allegation of opportunist behavior and counter proposes the rumors are simply slanderous revisionism.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Law and Order in these here parts.
The Beaverlick County Jail, colloquially known as the “Poky”, serves as the center of law and order in Beaverlick. Editors note: other establishments in town have also been referred to as the “Poky” however context should disseminate the proper establishment in conversation.
Excerpt taken from the context of Mayor Caveat Huckster's inauguration speech:
All detained suspects of heinous felonies can expect a just and expedient trial. Those of dubious reckoning shall be hung like men; that is unless they are women folk guilty of a similarly malignant crime. They will be hanged.
Catherine's "The Great Livery Stable".
Welcome to Catherine's Livery an establishment with a long history of animal husbandry. Proprietor Catherine Frederica, a Prussian born immigrant, opened her barn door to the public late last October and has been servicing mare and stallion alike. Catherine, a top notch jocky herself who seems as comfortable bareback as she is in the stirrups, urges all riders to hobble up in her stalls. "No matter how hard you ride your philly, she will never be put up wet here." claims Catherine.Tzu Wong's Can Make it White

"Tzu Wong's can make it white" or so the sign reads outside this disheveled old shack at the edge of Beaverlick. This ex-railroad worker turned linen ringer has establish quite a trade and some say a celestial's fortune as rumors have tied him to every imaginable conspiracy ranging from exiled despot to the San Francisco underground. No mater what this mysterious oriental entrepreneur heritage you can bet he's up to his elbows in the dirty laundry of this Wyoming town..

Enos DeMilo Arms Company
Enos DelMilo Arms CompanyThe Enos DelMilo Arms Company provides the finest quality balls and bullets for all your ballistic discharges in and around Beaverlick. Whether you are hunting opossum in the bush or deep in the back country, Enos’ small arms are guaranteed not to go off half cocked or prematurely. No matter if you're a great white hunter or a backdoor man, they’ve got the piece for you.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Water tower
City ordinance prohibits the act of bathing in any public areas not excluding the railroad water supply, watering troves and the distillery run off.
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